Collingwood announces Yoshiro Mori as new club president


A proud day for the Collingwood Football Club with the announcement of Yoshirō Mori (pictured above) as their new club president, effective immediately. Mori, described by those who know him best as a man with (and I'm not making this up) 'the heart of a flea and the brain of a shark', served as Japanese Prime Minister for almost a year and may or may not have said something spectacularly inappropriate about women in his role as President of the Tokyo Olympics. As a staunch rugby union fan, Mori is looking forward to taking the reins of a club that plays a game that "doesn't look like much of a sport to me".

Collingwood board member and Cartier watch enthusiast Christine Holgate said that "Mori brings a world of experience preparing for a big sporting event that will probably not get off the ground. Given the state of affairs in Melbourne at the minute, he's a perfect fit for this club at this point in our history". Then she went on a bit with the talking talking talking.

AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan was surprisingly upbeat about the announcement.

"I'm just glad it's not Andrew Demetriou".

Take me back to The Lounge.

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